What emotion is hardest for you to feel —
to make a space and let it be within you?
In my family recently, there has been a place of sadness. As unwelcome as the situation and feelings seemed at first, I was also aware of an invitation to simply be with what I was feeling: to make a space. I did not want to react, justify, explain, or hide. I wanted to be still and notice whatever was there to notice, to feel whatever there was to feel.
After some quiet time, I became aware of a shimmering around the edges of my sadness, and I wondered, “What is that light?” I continued to sit and be… but now I was intrigued as well as sad and anxious.
While the sad situation seemed to close one door, the shimmering felt like a small open window, letting in light and fresh air.
I am not usually patient for multiple feelings to be present at the same time. I like it to be one way or the other – and hopefully the most positive feeling. If it is a negative feeling, I want to figure it out, do what needs to be done, and get on with it (my “real” life :).
But this invitation was more gentle: just be with it all. See what there is to see. Feel what there is to feel. And when it is time, be willing to release the feeling and let it flow through. Which is how Grace works… I could not do this on my own. It is all gift.
The shimmering light at the edge of my sadness seems like the sun’s corona visible in a solar eclipse. The corona is the outermost part of the Sun’s atmosphere and always present, yet it is hidden by the bright light of the Sun’s surface. But it can be seen during a total solar eclipse. When I could allow darkness of my sadness to simply be, I was able to notice the shimmering surrounding me.
Feelings are simply part of being human, and allowing them to come and go, can sometimes take patience and courage. Yet our feelings can be helpful guides as we pay attention to how God is leading and inviting us. Even in what feels like a darker experience or feeling, there is ever-present Light encircling us, holding us.
I am reminded of the following poem by Rumi, a Sufi poet, called “The Guest House.”
What would it be like for you to be grateful for these unexpected “visitors” trusting they may be your guides?
May you be blessed with courage to feel what needs to be felt, and then, with God’s abundant Grace, let it flow…
in peace and love~
*illustration at the top of post by Kristin Noelle – www.sacred-loom.com